http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/-t1.htm For very specific questions on small excerpts. Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:54:16 GMT 10 [url=http://writingforum.smfforfree.com/index.php][img]http://i540.photobucket.com/albums/ http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/-t1.htm http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/paragraph-giving-me-brain-cramp-help-t164.htm Anonymous Deavon slowly opened the wooden outer door of the radio room revealing the inner door, a heavy sheet of perfectly smooth black slate connected to the outer casing of the room with complex hinges that flexed and gave to allow the door to respect the dimensions of the inner room. A sharp, crystalline ping told that William had disengaged the door’s inner tabs. A single candle burning brightly on a small table illuminated William gripping a heavy brass dampening bar. The door closed on a spring ... Help Desk Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:54:16 GMT http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/paragraph-giving-me-brain-cramp-help-t164.htm#1979 http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/paragraph-giving-me-brain-cramp-help-t164.htm http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/need-help-with-a-description-t142.htm ebyss Hi all, Once again, asking for some help with a description of a scene. It seems to be lacking something, so if anyone has some suggestions, please comment. A thick fog rolled off the ocean and covered the ground of the little island like a blanket. Seven figures clad in black, flowing robes stood in a circle around a granite stone altar. In the center of the altar, a fire burned, cutting through the night like a sharpened blade. The circular slab was divided into seven sections. ... Help Desk Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:55:11 GMT http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/need-help-with-a-description-t142.htm#1763 http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/need-help-with-a-description-t142.htm http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/gunslinger-girl-t152.htm Colonel Marksman “Henrietta? Henrietta!” Giuseppe called out. She ignored her handler. The girl just ran—ran and ran—as fast as she could away from him. José watched and reached a hand out for her, but could not reach her. Henrietta coughed her sobs. She fought her tears bitterly, but they stroke her face anyway. She continued to run across the Agency all the way to the firing range. There she knelt down and burst into crying, letting the stream drip off her chin and make mud in the dirt below. The ... Help Desk Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:39:57 GMT http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/gunslinger-girl-t152.htm#1782 http://review-group.forumotion.com/help-desk-f34/gunslinger-girl-t152.htm