Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

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Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by SarahP on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:03 pm

((All names but mine have been changed to protect the tragically unmotivated.))

There’s a bar on the on the city’s main drag. A coffee shop not far from there. They buzz nightly with the same voices that have rung through their walls for years. A group of smoking nobodies whose raucous conversations rarely reach past the profoundness of the latest movie or inter-group gossip.

Christine will still order a Wild Turkey and water on a Thursday night while her jobless boyfriend looks annoyed, whether he feels that way or not. Hannah’s concerns still range from the latest VW club meeting, to high fashion clothes she buys but can’t afford. Lance and Twila bring their children to the coffee shop every night to wreak havoc on the owners while their parents smoke and play cards. They will all talk importantly about themselves. One stool at the bar stays empty, perhaps only in metaphor. The same of a hard plastic chair around the concrete table at the coffee shop.

Very nearby, Sarah steps on a toy. “Dag NABBIT!” It’s her new favorite swear word. Somewhere a stones throw away (you could literally throw a stone and hit either the coffee shop or the bar from her house) her old friends drift further from the place in her heart that holds all the joy.

She scoops up a pile of blocks and dumps them into a plastic bin before pushing a tress of blonde hair over her ear. With each song she makes up about eating cereal, she strolls along on a journey that drives the bar into the distance behind her- and she doesn’t long to go back.. She drops her one year old off at the gym’s nursery, striving to better herself. She doesn’t miss a cigarette (although she does miss a bikini body).

On Friday night, when her blue eyes light up at the sight of the big white Tahoe pulling into the driveway with the precious cargo that is her husband, Sarah remembers what it was like to have no path. She smiles.
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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by SarahP on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:08 pm

Hmmm... I just went through and formatted the whole story, then it broke apart again when I posted it. Am I doing something wrong?
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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by Garmar on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:16 pm

There are some strange issues with formatting here. Sometimes, I even lose whole sentences. No

I've looked into it on the forumotion support site, but their answer, like always, is "I don't see a problem." Or, "We don't have that, sorry."

The perils of free hosting I guess.

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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by NaClmine on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:31 pm

It's formatted correctly on my screen. Did you clean it up Gar?
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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by Garmar on Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:37 pm

Did you clean it up Gar?

Caught me again!

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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by SarahP on Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:25 pm

Oh, that's so much prettier! Thanks, Garmar!
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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by MC on Fri Apr 10, 2009 10:39 pm

Hi Sarah, I loved this. Some very nice scene setting, you've got here. It's just a great piece. I love your descriptions and details. I love the glimpses into your thoughts and feelings--as well as your new 'life values'. LOL, about the couple that tows their kids to the coffee shop. I can't imagine...I try not to impose my crew on anyone if I can help it. Though I sometimes wonder if they might be better in public if I tried more often...
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Re: Passing Thoughts From a Woman on a Journey

Post by SarahP on Mon Apr 13, 2009 12:23 pm

MC wrote:the couple that tows their kids to the coffee shop. I can't imagine...

Haha.. Yeah. The couple pays NO attention to their kids. The little buggers harrass EVERYONE.

MC wrote: I love the glimpses into your thoughts and feelings--as well
as your new 'life values'.

I was hoping to provide glimpses into my personality by laying out things I don't do. I don't know if I was very effective in that as I read it again after a break. I think I could have reworked a bit of the first paragraph. After all, the challenge was supposed to be about me, not about a bunch of extra characters. I dunno.
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