The Joke Thread.

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The Joke Thread.

Post by Garmar on Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:37 pm


The 8 Monkeys



(This is reportedly based on an actual experiment conducted in the U.K.)

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable. Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder.

One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious. But undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder.

All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why.

However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him.

This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he's attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.


And that is how most companies' policies get established.

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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by Jack on Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:14 pm

This was a clever and interesting joke Garm! Some of the parts made me laugh! cheers

The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker

#10
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10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.
#9
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9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.
#8
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8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
#7
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7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
#6
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6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
#5
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5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"
#4
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4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
#3
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3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons
#2
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2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
#1
Spoiler:
1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."
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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by MC on Fri Feb 27, 2009 4:51 pm

True story:

My father-in-law said to my husband, "What does it say about me that my grandson calls me 'dumb-pa'?

My husband replied, "Just be glad he doesn't call you 'dam-ma'. "


True story:

My husband and I love to guess who the voice over actors are on our kids' cartoons.
I said, "Hey, the dog catcher on Lady and The Tramp II sounds like Don Knotts!"
He said, "Really, I was thinking it sounded more like that old guy from "Three's Company".

DOH!


Last edited by MC on Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by Garmar on Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:28 pm

True story:

My husband and I love to guess who the voice over actors are on our kids' cartoons.
I said, "Hey, the dog catcher on Lady and The Tramp II sounds like Don Knotts!"
He said, "Really, I was thinking it sounded more like that old guy from "Three's Company".

DOH!

Good one! biggrin

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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by MC on Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:08 pm

More funny things my kids said recently:

Today my 3yo said "When I look at hot things it makes bugs get in my eyes". Not sure what that means...

My six year old recently said that "ore" was what poor people had to eat.
Perplexed as all get out, I asked him where he got that information.
He said, "Like on that show, the little poor kid says to the man, 'Please sir can I have some ore?'."

LOL, I crack up just thinking about it! He's referring to Oliver Twist, in case you didn't catch that.
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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by Guest on Tue Mar 03, 2009 6:35 pm

I only have one good joke, and It falls flat if I don't put on my Italian accent to tell it. No

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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by Red_Venus on Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:08 pm

An Amish man takes his family to visit the city. While his wife and three daughters are window shopping, he and his son become fascinated by the elevators and stop to see how they work.

They watch as a fifty-something woman with dowdy clothes and a sagging, matronly physique gets onto the elevator. They watch as the little arrow above the elevator moves from the number one clear up to the number ten, where it stops momentarily.

Then the son and father see the arrow begin to move slowly back towards the number one again. A bell dings and out steps a gorgeous young blonde.

Without taking his eyes off the beautiful woman, the father whispers; "Son, go get your mother."
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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by MC on Wed Mar 04, 2009 3:54 pm

Hahaha! LOL. Good one.
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Re: The Joke Thread.

Post by MC on Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:18 pm

A man found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie came out and offered the man three wishes "But," he said, "I must advise you that I'm an attorney genie, and whatever you wish for Attorneys of the world will get double."
"Okay," the man shrugged.
"What's your first wish?"
The man replied, "well, how about a red ferrari?"
"Granted...and the lawyers of the world will recieve two each. What else?"
"Um...I wish I had a billion dollars."
"As you wish...and attorneys will recieve two billion. What's your last wish?"

The man thought for a moment and said, "Well...I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
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